My mum gave up custody after discovering I was ill – but now she wants a second chance’

A woman asked for advice online after her a family member recently got in touch on behalf of her estranged mother, who is ill, in a bid to try and reconnect the pair

As well as caring for your child, much of parenting is teaching them how to be a semi-decent person.

In most cases, kids learn by example – unless you’re the sort of human who disappears when things get tough.

One woman has asked for advice online – after her estranged mum reached out via a family member.

Explaining that her mum is ill, the woman said she was unsure about getting back in touch after not talking to her for years.

When she was a teenager, her mum gave up custody of her, because she had cancer, and she lived with her dad.

Now she doesn’t want to restart contact – but some family members are urging her to get in touch.

Asking for advice on Reddit, she explained: “I have cancer. I got it when I was 12 and right after I got diagnosed, my mum brought me to my dad’s house and said I needed to live with him full time because she can’t take care of a sick kid.

“They went to court and made the custody arrangement official and I’ve lived with my dad and step mum ever since. My mum disappeared from my life after that. She wouldn’t call or answer my calls or visit.

“I didn’t learn this until recently but my mum told her family that my dad and step mum took her to court and took me from her and now I don’t want to see her.

“I guess making me and my family look like monsters was better than telling her family that she gave her kid away when they got cancer.”

Now her mum is sick – and her uncle got in touch and asked her to come and visit her in the hospital.

“I said no and they sent paragraphs about how hurt she was when she lost custody and when I said I didn’t want to see her and that the least I can do is see her one time before she dies,” she wrote.

“I said that she was the one who gave up custody and I tried to call her and I begged her to see me but she never wanted to see me or talk to me.

“That kinda blew up my mom’s side of the family. Some of her family members have been messaging me about wanting to see me and they’re mad at my mom for lying to them then some of them are mad at me for turning her family against her while she’s in the ICU.”

On Reddit, people flooded the forum with supportive advice and comments.

One person wrote: “She can live and die with her truth. Block anyone that doesn’t support you.”

Another added: “YOU did not turn her family against her. If they turned against her, it is because of her behaviour.

“Please don’t let yourself be pulled into their drama. You have your own battle to fight.

“Draw strength where ever you find it but don’t waste your time and energy dealing with negative energy from their chaos. Your life literally depends on being strong for yourself.”

A third commented: “Your mom gave up on you when you needed her. She lied to her family to make herself look better and now she’s so sad your relationship has been destroyed? You don’t owe her anything.”